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Among the many sayings attributed to Abraham Lincoln is this one: “If I should call a pig’s tail a leg, how many legs would it have? Only four, because my calling the tail a leg would not make it so.” Although in truth Honest Abe merely appropriated this bit of folk wisdom for his own speechifying purposes, it’s still relevant in considering this newest sedan from his eponymous brand.

The 2013 Lincoln MKZ is ostensibly a luxury car, but one built by Ford, whose nearly complete lack of understanding of the genre has been on wide display for at least a decade*. (See: Jaguar, et al.) Which is not to **** the MKZ for its lineage, but rather to suggest that Russian director Timur Bekmambetov’s recent depiction of the 16th president fighting the undead in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is only marginally less fanciful than the thinking vis-à-vis Lincoln that’s been going on lately in Dearborn

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